Dear Nobody: This Is My First Confession…

Dear Nobody,

I’ve always had too many emotions.

So it’s curious, the detached numbness that I feel right now, sitting fully clothed under my duvet, preparing to spew my unpalatable truth into the cyber-ether.

HE is lying next to me, also fully clothed; the man I’ve loved for over a decade. ‘HE,’ is the man I married, the father of my child.

And evidently, HE has been keeping a grim secret…

For the last 12 years, as admitted to me last night, the man I love has been sexually abusing me while I sleep.

I’d love to tell you that’s the worst thing that’s happened to me in my 40 years on the mortal coil but it would be a steaming heap of BS. I’m no amateur liar – circumstance has forced me to perfect my game face over the years and you really don’t wanna challenge me to a hand of Texas Holdem… but I’m weary of it, Nobody.

There needs to be one small corner of my world in which I can be my authentic self, even if it must be anonymously.

My name is Erin (not really but for the purpose of blowing my life wide open online it is) and I am in a big fucking mess.