How might a covert narcissist behave in a friendship?
Buckle up, it’s not gonna be fun…
If you were the one who instigated the friendship, the power dynamic is forever tipped in their favour. To the narc, the fact you approached them for friendship is a no-brainer; of course you want to be around them, doesn’t everyone? Your ‘value’ is intrinsically lowered by the fact that you chased them and nothing you can do will ever change that. As far as the narc is concerned you’re easy pickings and they will bleed you dry giving nothing in return.
If they approached you for friendship, it means you have something they want, even if it’s only the gravitas of being able to name drop you in the interests of furthering social/career/romantic prospects.
It’s all about the hierarchy for narcs. If they don’t consider you to be a major player, you’re automatically below them and should be grateful for any crumbs they deign to flick in your direction.
Within the friendship, you’ll be kept around for as long as you continue to bolster that deceptively fragile ego of theirs. The needs of the narc are paramount and the expectation is clear: you are there to fulfill them, to your own detriment.
Once you begin to notice this glaring imbalance, the friendship will only be viable if you’re prepared to maintain the status quo. Your friendship needs are irrelevant to them because there is no empathy. They have no idea if you were distressed or inconvenienced by their reckless stomping over your boundaries and neither do they care to know. Your feelings don’t even enter the equation. Why should they when your only purpose is to serve the narc?
Leave a Reply